


What a Happy Ending Feels Like

by cbl015



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-07
Updated: 2015-01-15
Packaged: 2018-03-06 12:21:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3134309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cbl015/pseuds/cbl015
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rumplestiltskin, who has just returned to Storybrooke after being banished by his wife, finally knows what he has to do if he is to ever have a shot at getting his happy ending.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fanfiction I have ever written, so I apologize in advance. I was heartbroken after the winter finale, so I had to write something to try to make myself feel better. Any comments/criticism would be appreciated, as I have a couple more ideas that I may turn into fanfics at some point in the future.

This was it. The moment he had thought about every moment for the past six weeks. The moment he had dreamt about during the rare occurrence that he had been able to fall asleep. With the help of the 'Queens of Darkness', he had broken the curse that prevented those who left Storybrooke from returning. And yet as he stared at the town line, the very spot where he stood six weeks ago after his wife had banished him from the town, he could not move. He had told his companions to go ahead without him. He wanted to alone for this moment. Minutes had passed since he had watched the women cross the line and enter into the small town, confirming they were successful in breaking the Snow Queen’s curse. Still he was frozen in place. 

_What the hell are you waiting for?_ his inner voice shouted. And although he could pretend he didn’t know the reason for his hesitation, the truth was undeniable. He was afraid. Fear was something Rumplestiltskin had struggled with his whole life. Becoming the dark one had made his pathetic life as a coward a little more bearable. Crossing the line would give him those powers back. But this time, the power would do nothing to alleviate his fear. All the magic in the world would not take away his fear of what he had to face once he crossed that line.

_Her._

His beautiful, courageous little Belle. Of all the monster he had faced, all the evil he had seen, nothing terrified him like his wife did at that moment. She was his one shot at a happy ending. And because of his stupidity, of his greed, he would probably never know what a happy ending felt like.

Rumplestiltskin closed his eyes as his mind replayed that night six weeks ago. The night she had kicked him out of the town, and out of her life. The night when he lost everything, when his wife told him she could see nothing inside him but a beast. Belle, who could see the good in anyone, saw him as nothing but a monster. She was always so loving, so forgiving, which made her actions that night hurt so much more. Knowing that he had driven her to a point where she could not forgive him, knowing that he had broken her so much that she lost all the hope she had in him, had tortured him for the past six weeks. But the most painful thing was knowing that she doubted his love for her. She thought his powers meant more to him than she did. The moment she had said that was the moment he realized he had failed her.

He had let the queens of darkness believe that the reason he wanted to return to Storybrooke was to get his revenge, and then together they could find the author and finally get their happy endings. But Rumplestiltskin knew the only way he could possibly get his happy ending, and he didn’t need the author to do it. He just needed to cross the damn line and find his wife.

There were endless doubts running through his mind. _What if she can never forgive me? What if she has moved on? What if she doesn’t love me anymore?_ The image of his wife banishing him entered his mind again. And through the anger and the tears, she was still so beautiful. She had been brave enough to confront the beast that night. He had to be brave enough to become the man she deserved.

Slowly, Rumplestiltskin put one foot over the town line, and then the other. The moment he did so he felt his powers surge back to life inside him. He released the breath he had been holding, and with the flick of his wrist, he went from looking like a homeless man to the powerful Mr. Gold that Storybrooke knew him to be. He let his cane fall to the ground, no longer needing its support to stand. For a few moments he just stood there, savouring the feeling of magic running through his veins. Then he set out to find his Belle.

As he stood at the front door of the house they shared, all his doubts and fears sprang to life again. He quickly blocked them out and entered the house, using magic to unlock the door. Inside, the house felt cold and unwelcoming. He called out to his wife a couple of times before realizing the house was empty. _It is the middle of the day, perhaps she’s working. No reason that her life shouldn’t continue on as normal._ He walked into the kitchen and noticed two coffee cups sitting in the sink. His heart sank at the sight. _She did find someone._ As he picked up one of the cups and noticed the dried stain on the bottom, he thought that it might have been the cup he had used to drink his coffee the last morning he had spent in the house. And if he remembered correctly, the other cup was the one Belle had used that same morning. _That’s impossible_ he thought as he place the cup back in the sink. There was no way Belle would have left dirty dishes in the sink for that length of time. _Unless Belle isn’t living in the house._ He went upstairs to their bedroom.

As he entered the room, so many memories flooded his mind that he had to close his eyes to keep the tears from falling. Memories of nights spent holding his wife, watching her while she slept peacefully. Memories of waking up to find she had fallen asleep while reading, book still open on her lap. He shook his head in an attempt to stop the painful assault, and went to the closet where Belle kept most of her clothes. Throwing the doors open, he found most of the clothes were gone. _She’s gone._ He felt so dizzy at the thought he had to sit on the bed to balance himself _._ Then he remembered she had packed for their trip to New York. And knowing Belle, she probably packed so much of her wardrobe, she couldn’t get her suitcase closed by the time that she was done. _That’s why her closet is empty. She didn’t get time to unpack yet. It doesn’t mean she isn’t living here._ His eyes scanned the room for some proof that his wife had been there recently. When he looked at the table beside the bed, he noticed a book was left there. The same book that Belle had been reading the last night they spent together. Judging by the layer of dust on the cover, the book hadn’t been touched since then. Panic set in as he realized Belle hadn’t been staying in their home. _Where is she? Has something happened to her? I should have been here to protect her._      

In the next second Rumple found himself outside of the library. _She must be at work_ he tried to reassure himself. When he walked closer to the door, he noticed a handwritten sign in the window. It stated that the library was closed until further notice. _Belle, where the hell are you?_

There was one other place where Belle might be staying. His shop. _Please be there, Belle. Please be safe._ With the snap of his fingers, he appeared at the front door of his antique shop in a cloud of red smoke. He tried the door, but found it locked. Once again, he used magic to unlock the door and then entered the building. Once inside he knew he was the first person to step inside in the last six weeks. A layer of dust covered everything inside the shop. Even as he walked to the back of his shop, he already knew he would find no sign that his wife had been there. This knowledge didn’t stop the feeling of panic that overcame him when his fear was confirmed. He sank onto the bed, a million different scenarios running through his mind. _What if she left Storybrooke and decided to see the world without me? How will I ever find her? What if some villain had come to town since I left and she was hurt? Or dead?_

He didn’t know how long he was sat there, but when he looked out the window, he noticed it was dark outside. When he heard the ring of the shop’s bell, he leapt to his feet, hope filling him with the thought that his wife had come to him. All his hope died instantly the moment he heard Emma Swan’s voice.   

“Gold? Where are you? I know you’re in here, I got multiple calls from people who saw you come in.”   

_Nosey bastards._ With a look of pure annoyance, Rumple left the privacy of the shop’s back room to face the sheriff. The blonde stood in the entrance of his shop, her gun drawn and ready to shoot. His annoyance grew. “Is that really necessary, dearie?”      

“I’m not taking any chances. I know what you were going to do. Killian told me everything.”     

The laugh that escaped his throat was harsh and dripped with sarcasm. “Did he now? So, he told you that he was the one that approached me first? That he tried to blackmail me? That he threatened to crush my wife’s heart?”   

For a second doubt crossed Emma’s features. But just as quickly it disappeared. “I don’t believe you.”

“And I don’t really care. Just tell me, dearie, what exactly are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same thing. Belle commanded you to leave Storybrooke.”

_As if I need a reminder._ He looked away, determine not to reveal how much pain hearing those words caused. “And leave I did.” He looked at Emma again. “And with the help of some associates, I broke the Snow Queen’s curse, and now I’m here. Now that I answered your question, answer mine. What are you doing in my shop?”

“I’m here to make sure you don’t attempt to get your revenge.”

Rumple laughed again. “I can assure you, dearie, I’m not going to waste my time seeking revenge on your boyfriend.”

“Hook isn’t the one I’m worried about. He wasn’t the one who stopped you from freeing yourself from your dagger, Belle was.”

The first thing Rumple felt at her words was relief. If Emma was here to protect Belle, then Belle was alive. And she was probably still in Storybrooke. When he thought about what Emma had said a second time, he was filled with disbelief and rage. “You really think I would try to get revenge on my wife?”

Despite his obvious anger, Emma stood her ground. “Why not? You’ve tried to kill anyone who has got in your way in the past.”

“I could never harm Belle!” His yell silenced the sheriff. He was now trembling with anger.

It took a few moments for Emma to recover. Finally she said “I don’t trust you.”

“Well, why don’t you use your so called superpower and see that I’m telling the truth.” After a few minutes of studying him, Emma lower her weapon, convinced he would not try to harm his wife. “Thank you,” Rumple said through clenched teeth, although it was obvious he felt no gratitude. “Now, dearie, either tell me where my wife is, or get the hell out of my shop.”

“No. This is what’s going to happen. You’re going to stay right here. I’ll tell Belle where to find you, and if she wants to talk, she’ll come to you. If she doesn’t, you’re going to stay the hell away from her.”

He wanted to refuse. Tell Emma to go to hell and go find Belle himself. Instead he grumbled “fine,” knowing this was his best shot at talking to his wife.

Without another word, Emma turned around and left the shop, slamming the door behind her. Once she was gone, Rumple’s anxiety returned. _It’ll be fine_ he tried to convince himself. _Just stick with the plan and it will be fine. I just need to talk to Belle._ He took a deep breath, trying to remain calm. _But what if she doesn’t come…_

 


	2. Chapter 2

_I shouldn’t be doing this,_ Belle thought as she walked the short distance to the antique shop. _I’m not ready for this._ Countless emotions went through Belle’s mind when Emma told her that her husband was back in town. Surprise was not one of them. Rumple was a clever man. Part of her always knew that if there was any way to get back into Storybrooke, he would find it. She didn’t really want to see him. But she knew she would have to see him with her own eyes to truly accept that he had returned. Emma had insisted on accompanying her for protection, but Belle reminded her that she still had the dagger. If need be, she could still control him.

Quietly, and with a silent prayer for courage, Belle used to back door to enter her husband’s shop. She hadn’t stepped foot inside since the night she banished him from Storybrooke. When she saw no sign of Rumple, she silently crept to the front of the shop. When she spotted him, she immediately froze in the doorway. He had his back towards her, staring out the window into the dark night. He was so consumed with his thoughts, he hadn’t heard her come in. Seeing him in person, standing a few feet away from her, shattered her heart all over again. She wanted nothing more than to run to the comfort of his arms and never leave them again, but she couldn’t. Not this time.

She didn’t realize she was crying until she heard the sob escape her throat. She watched as Rumple’s body tensed at the sound, and he slowly turned around to face her. They stood there staring at her other for several moments, both too terrified to make a move or say a word. Belle saw so many emotions cross Rumple’s face as they studied each other; fear, relief, hope, despair, love… _No!_ she scolded herself internally. _Don’t let him fool you again. Remember the gauntlet. You are not his true love._

Rumple couldn’t believe it. She came. Belle was here. Her eyes were swollen, her nose was red, her hair was dishevelled. But she was the most beautiful sight he had seen in the centuries he had been alive. “You came,” he said with relief, finally breaking the silence.

“Emma said you wanted to speak to me,” was her cold reply. Belle watched him take a cautious step towards her, and she automatically took a step back. “Don’t come any closer. Whatever you have to say, you can say it from there.”

Rumple closed his eyes in an attempt to hide the pain her hostility inflicted. He took a deep breath before speaking again. “Belle, I promise I will explain everything. You deserve an explanation. I don’t expect that you will forgive me, but I will spend the rest of my life trying to earn your forgiveness,” he paused, trying to find the courage for what would come next. “There is something I have to show you.”

Belle watched as he carefully took off his wedding ring and gently placed it on the counter. “What are you doing?” she questioned. Rumple always made a point to never remove his ring. Even prior to their marriage, the ring never left his finger.

“I’m going to prove that you were wrong before. I don’t love my power more than I love you. I’m going to prove that you are my one true love.”

“And how do you plan on doing that?” she couldn’t help the doubt that filled her voice. She couldn’t believe that he was trying to lie to her again. “You can’t prove something that’s not true, Rumple. The gauntlet showed me your true love, and it wasn’t me.” She started crying again. This time when her husband took a step towards her, she couldn’t find the strength to stop him. When she didn’t protest, Rumple slowly inched towards her, until he was close enough to touch. Carefully, he raised his hand and began to softly stroke her cheek. Belle wanted to stop him, wanted to turn around and run out of the shop. But she couldn’t. She missed him so much. She felt herself close her eyes and lean into his gentle touch.

“Do you trust me?” Rumple asked.

She knew she shouldn’t, not after everything he had done. But as she opened her eyes and looked at the man she loved, she couldn’t lie to him. “Yes.” As soon as she had said the word, Rumple’s lips were on hers. Every instinct was telling her to push him away. But after a second of hesitation, she could resist no longer, and began kissing him back. The moment she did, she felt a surge of magic running through her and her husband. She moved to back away, but Rumple gently pulled her closer, wrapping one arm around her waist, and burying the fingers of his other hand into her hair to hold her head in place. Within seconds, the magic stopped and their lips seperated. When Belle opened her eyes, a look of confusion on her face, she saw Rumple start to stumble, struggling to support his weight on his bad leg. Quickly, Belle helped him to a chair that was placed behind the counter. “What just happened?” she asked once he had settled comfortably.

“True love’s kiss,” was his reply.

“What?”

“I told you that I would prove that you were my true love. And true love’s kiss can break any curse.” he said, a small smile on his face.

“What?” Belle repeated. “Your curse, your power…”

“Gone. Forever.”

Belle stared at her husband in disbelief. “I don’t understand. We’ve kissed many times before. What made this one so different?”

Rumple picked up the ring he had left on the counter. “Back in my castle, before the curse, I became quite lonely after I…made you leave. I wanted to find you and beg for your forgiveness, to tell you that I loved you. So many times I was tempted to let you break my curse. And that terrified me. I couldn’t risk losing my powers. I needed to find my son. After you were gone, I went searching for this stone,” he said, pointing to the stone that sat in his ring. “There were stories that it could block the power of true love’s kiss. It took some time but I finally found it. My plan was to transform it into a ring, and then find you. Then together, we would find Bae. But before I got the chance, Regina told me that you had died,” he closed his eyes, remembering the pain the queen’s lie had caused him. After a moment, he continued. “I crafted the ring and decided to wear it so I could never forget you. I made sure that it would stay with me after the curse hit. I didn’t remember why I wore it, not until Emma came to town, but I never took it off.”

 For a long time, Belle stay silent as she tried to process what her husband had told her. Finally, she spoke. “Why? Why give up your curse now?”

“Because it’s what you wanted. You wanted to be chosen, and I chose you. I will always choose you. If there’s anything these past six weeks have taught me it's that I can live without power. But I can’t live without you, Belle.” He made an attempt to stand, temporarily forgetting that he no longer had the support of his magic. Belle went to the back of the shop and retrieved his cane. She passed it to him wordlessly, not knowing what to say. As he stood, Rumple caught one of her hands and held it in his own. “Please believe me, Belle. I could never love my power more than I love you. I love you in a way that I have never loved anyone or anything in my entire existence. You can be angry with me for as long as I live, but please don’t doubt that I love you more than anything in this world.” As he stared at his wife, waiting for her reaction, he saw a look in her eyes that he couldn’t quite recognize. _She hates you more than ever now_ his mind taunted. _You’ve disappointed her yet again. She finally sees you for the pathetic coward that you truly are._ Rumple shut his eyes and tried to prepare himself for her ridicule, but as she often did, his darling wife took him by surprise. When he felt her arms wrap around him in a tight embrace, he was too stunned to move. Then he heard Belle speak.

“Rumple, I am so proud of you. I know how scared you were to give up your powers, but you did it. You’re the bravest person I have ever known.”

_What? Proud? Brave? Me?_ As he finally returned his wife’s embrace, it dawned on his why he didn’t recognize the look in her eyes. It was pride. Admiration. No one had ever been proud of him before. No one had considered him brave. He stepped back to look at his wife. “You realize what this means, right? I’m completely human. I won’t be able to protect you.”

Belle smiled as she stroked his cheek. “I don’t need your protection. I only ever needed you. But I’m still confused about something. If I am your true love, then why did the gauntlet bring me to your dagger? You said it showed a person’s weakness, what they loved most.”

“A person’s weakness is usually what they love most. But not always. For me my weakness is…was...my dagger, because it had complete control over me. But I have never loved the dagger. And you have never been my weakness. As I told you before, you are my strength. You’ve changed me. You made me a better person.”

A look of pain crossed Belle’s face as she remembered his attempt to use the hat to free himself from the dagger. She stepped out of her husband’s embrace, wrapping her own arms around herself at the loss of contact. “How do you expect me to believe that? I saw you about to crush Hook’s heart. You trapped the fairies inside the hat. Those actions prove you haven’t changed."

With a sigh of frustration, Rumple sat back in his chair. He covered his mouth with his hand and stroked his chin, trying to find the words to say. Finally, he said “I know what I did was wrong. But my intentions weren’t…” he stopped himself, and started again. “I was doing it for you, Belle. For us.”

“You did this for yourself, Rumple. You had to know I would never be okay with you hurting someone.”

“I know,” he sighed. “And I never wanted to hurt anyone. I just wanted to be free of the damned dagger. I swear, Belle. It was never about Hook, or anyone else. Just me and you. I didn’t know I would need to crush Hook’s heart until the Snow Queen told me. And by then, I was so close to giving us everything. I wanted to make sure no one could ever control me again, that no one could ever make me hurt you.”

“But you hurt me.” Belle felt tears rolling down her cheeks.

Rumple stood once again and softly wiped his wife’s face. “I know, Belle, and I’m so sorry. Please don’t cry, sweetheart.”

Belle allowed Rumple to wrap his arms around her and she buried her face into his neck as the tears continued to fall. “You should have told me, Rumple,” she sobbed. “I would have helped you free yourself in a way that didn’t hurt anyone.”

“I am so sorry, Belle.”

When Belle stepped back and looked into her husband’s eyes, she saw tears threatening to fall. She wanted to forget everything that had happened, forgive him for all that he had done. But she couldn’t. Not yet. “Why did you give me the dagger in the first place if you didn’t trust me? I never asked for it, never wanted it. I even insisted that you take it back multiple times, and you still lied to me.”

“I did trust you, I swear. At first I only took the dagger back to…” he hesitated, knowing he was about to make things even worse.

“To what, Rumple?” Belle questioned, though she knew she didn’t want to hear the answer.

“To…to kill Zelena."

Belle’s heart sank. “Rumple, no”

“Belle, I had to! She killed my boy! She tried to make me kill you! She locked me in a cage like an animal, made me her slave. I had to kill her.” He reached out and grabbed one of Belle’s hand, bringing it to his lips. When she said nothing, he continued. “I couldn’t risk her getting her hands on the dagger again. You are all I have left. And anytime I have let my enemy live, you were always the one to suffer. I let Regina live after she locked you up, and she made you become Lacey. I spared Hook’s life, and he shot you. Any time I tried to do the right thing, you got hurt. I couldn’t let Zelena live.”

“I get it, Rumple," Belle said with a sad smile. "I wanted Zelena punished too, believe me. After what she did to you, and to Neal…the reason I didn’t want you to kill her wasn’t for her. It was for you.”

“You’re not angry?” he asked in disbelief.

“Well, I’m not terribly happy about it. But I understand. I just wish you would have talked to me.”

“I was afraid you would never forgive me. I didn’t want you to be disappointed in me for failing to be the man you thought I could be.”

“So you lied about the dagger so you could kill Zelena. But why did you continue to lie after that?”

“I wanted to give you the real dagger,” he confessed. “And I did. But when we went to that house, and I saw that hat, I saw a way that we could have everything. I could be free from the dagger, but still have my power to protect you. I could show you the world, give you everything you ever wanted. And honestly, I don’t know why I continued to lie to you. The lies just kept building, and I was afraid that if I told you, I would lose you. And in the end I lost you anyway. I am so sorry, Belle,” he said again as he rested his forehead on hers.

Belle took the time to study her husband. She noticed that he had lost weight, and his face was worn with exhaustion. The deep brown eyes that stared into hers were filled with regret and honesty. Belle finally accepted that she couldn’t stay angry with him any longer. “I know you are. Thank you for telling me everything,” she said, hugging him close. “Now we can start over. We can work this all out together. But there can be no more lies or secrets.”

Rumple stared at her in amazment. “You mean…you forgive me?”

“I know that, despite the fact that your actions were wrong, your intentions weren’t evil. And I know how hard it was for you to give up your power. So, I can forgive you, if you can forgive me.”

Rumple was confused. “Forgive you for what, darling?”

Belle started sobbing again. “For controlling you with the dagger. For commanding you to leave Storybrooke.”

Rumple pulled her in his arms and started stroking her back. “Sweetheart, it’s okay. There is nothing to forgive.”

Belle stepped back. “How can you say that? I took away your free will when I used the dagger.” She looked down at the floor in shame. “I’m no better than Zelena.”

Rumple lifted her chin, forcing her to look him in the eye. “Don’t you dare say that. Don’t ever compare yourself to her. Zelena was evil. You did what you had to do. You are a hero, Belle. It took a lot of strength to do what you did.”

Belle wrapped her arms around her husband's neck. “I’ve missed you so much.”

“I’ve missed you too,” he said, kissing her cheek.

She laid her head on his shoulder. “By the time I had walked back to town that night, I already regretted what I did. I turned around and walked back to the town line, but there was no sign of you. I waited, but…Emma eventually found me and brought me back to town. She tried to convince me that I did the right thing, but it didn’t feel like it. I couldn’t go home, so she brought me to Granny’s and I’ve been staying there ever since. There were so many times I thought about going to look for you, but I didn’t know where to start. I don’t even know how to survive outside of Storybrooke. So I asked Regina to rip my heart out-”

“What?” Rumple cut her off. “Why would you do that?”

“It hurt so much, I couldn’t take it anymore. I needed to stop feeling. But she wouldn’t do it.”

Rumple stroked Belle’s hair as he thought about how desperate she must have been to willingly give up her free will. Belle knew that if Regina had taken her heart, she would be able to control her every move. That wasn’t something that would appeal to a woman who insisted no one decided her fate but her. Not unless her pain was unbearable. And he had caused her that pain. “I’m so sorry for everything, Belle.”

She raised her head to look at him. “And I’m sorry for banishing you. For leaving you out there all alone.”

“That’s not entirely true,” he said as he wiped more tears from her face. “I still had you. That’s what kept me going these past six weeks. Thinking about you. Your smile. Your eyes. And promising myself that I would earn back your love and become the man you deserve.”

“You never lost my love, Rumple, not for a second. As angry as I was, I couldn’t stop loving you,” she gently kissed the tip of her husband’s nose. “And I think, after everything we have been through, what we both deserve is a little happiness,” she smiled as she stoked his cheek. “And the only way I will ever really be happy is with my true love.”

Rumple’s return smile reached his eyes, and Belle thought to herself that she had never seen him look so relaxed and at peace. For the first time in hundreds of years, he had let his guard down completely, knowing he had nothing to fear in that moment. She pulled his head down until their lips connected and kissed him until they were both gasping for air.

“I love you so much, Belle,” Rumple said when they finally separated.

“And I love you too.” They spend the next few minutes kissing and simply enjoying the feeling of being in each other’s arms once more. When Belle noticed him staring at her, she broke the silence. “What are you thinking about?”

Rumple smiled as he tucked a stray curl behind her ear. “I’m just thinking that this must be what getting a happy ending feels like.”

“I guess so,” Belle agreed, as she grabbed his hand and lead him to the backroom.    


End file.
